it's all worth it

Yesterday I ran all the way up to our monogram (a HUGE "LU" made of rocks on the side of our mountain in Lynchburg). and its like way up hill and everything. I thought I was going to pass out, but I had a friend running beside me pushing me to keep going and not to give up. Even at the end- all up hill- hardest run I have ever done - was about to give up but I just heard beside me "you got it, only a little more..you're almost there." and then I was at the top. out of breath from the run and from the beautiful sun setting in the distance behind the mountains. WOW it was beautiful up there. There is a little gazebo up there and I just stood there in complete awe of the sight my eyes fell upon. Simply amazing. Then a big gust of wind came- and kept coming- but it just reminded me that God is near and he was right there in the midst of His beautiful creation. The run was definitely worth it.

That run was hard. But I could have never of done it without help. It's like our Christian walk, or run. God is going to take us through hard times...up hills, down hills, flat grounds and more up hills and just like you seem like everything is going all right- another up hill is coming along. But in the end it was totally worth it. God will reveal something so beautiful, so amazing, and you will look back and see that it was all worth it.

But, we also need fellow Christians to encourage us, to up lift us, to help us along the way. Reminding us that we are not alone in this journey- others are going through it too. The encouragement, prayer of a friend is priceless. It helps us realize it is all worth it and it helps us get to the top to see what God has in store for us.

So when you are running along in your Christian faith- remember it's going to be hard, it may be rough but all the hard work will pay off....it will be worth it.

"For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done

the will of God you may receive what is promised."Hebrews 10:36

And when you are running- look beside you and see who is running with you- encourage and uplift others in the journey.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." Hebrews 3:13

{embrace the journey God has set before you.}

at the cross

At the Cross [hillsong]

Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
your Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?(x2)

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done(x2)

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
Oh.. I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?(x2)

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

This song is so precious. Like ah it gets me every time…gives me chills. Every time this song is played I think about my sister. My mom and I put together a picture slide show for her graduation last year and that was the first song. This song is just powerful. There is no greater love than how Christ displayed His love for us….shedding His blood to cleanse our souls, hearts and life. I cannot even fathom it.

One of my friends put this together for His worship class…please watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/micahp08

I think we frequently need to be reminded of the sacrifice Christ made for us, so that we can live, so we can love, so we can just have more than what is offered here on this temporary earth- eternal life.

And one more thing—if Christ made that big of a sacrifice for us-- What are you doing for Him??

All He asks of us is to live in, with and through Him- to live as imitators of Him and to live obediently to our heavenly Father.

remember.evaluate.ponder.love.

{embrace the journey}

no more regrets

So at Liberty we have leadership teams that consist of 2 RAs, 2 SLDs (spirtual life directors) and prayer leaders. We have weekly meetings together and the prayer leaders have prayer groups with girls on the hall and as leadership we have prayer groups as well on separate night. So i am an SLD right now..well i was the whole year and the year is coming to an end.

We had our last get together tonight and wow, it was so sad. just because this year went by sooo fast and its hard to believe. it was a good year but then again i have many regrets. i wish i didnt have them, but i do. there are so many things that i wish i could have done better in my personal life and relationship with the Lord and to reach the girls on my hall and leadership. ah i hate the year is over. i want to go back and change so many things, but i guess thats what makes me grow and just take every opportunity as they come next time and not take anything for granted.

on that note of taking things for granted....life is so taken for granted you know? i mean a family friend of ours - she was 30 years old and she randomly went into cardiac arrest and became braindead and died. ssoooo unexpected that its like it could happen to any of us.

So, don't wait. don't have any regrets. take every opportunity that comes to you to do service for the Lord. take every opportunity to share His love. don't let fear hold you from anything. go for what you want...what the Lord has for you. take life seriously. take time seriously. wow. take everything seriously!

you never know how much time you have left here on this earth, your temporary home.

live life with no regrets. make every decision out of love of others and not yourself. put others above yourself. put loving others above yourself. when you do that, you are less likely to make destructive decisions.

all in all

i hope that this next year can be better- starting with today. making every day better than the day before, growing more than the day before, reaching out more than the day before, loving more than the day before.


live.no regrets.grow.more.



{embrace the journey}

it's time to change

Facebook verse of the day:

1 Corinthians 3:16
Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?






God still ceases to amaze me. HE knows exactly how to speak to you.

listen.respond.change.

break the silence

Friends, they help you out in the most amazing ways. Encourage you so much, ya know?

You can really tell who your real friends are when circumstances change and they are still there.

Seasonal friends share a convenience and true friends share a connection.

That’s one of my favorite quotes. Mainly because it is so true.

Its like that with our relationship with God as well. When we are going through a rough time we tend to talk to Him more…and that’s out of our own convenience. When we feel like talking to Him is when we do…ya know? Or when things are going really bad then we tend to blame or not talk to Him because we don’t understand or we are ashamed of our own behavior. When we let circumstances control our lives instead of God then He is just a convenience when we need Him. But if that connection is there- no matter what the circumstance around us is like then we make Him true in our lives.

I hate when things aren't going oh so well with me and God. However, its always me that moves and not Him. And to be completely honest, I haven’t spent that much time with Him lately because I have just been on overload- and you know what? Life is going to suck when you don’t talk to God. I have been feeling like everything has overwhelmed me and I can’t handle a lot of things that are going on right now, but helloooooo its because things with me and God are not right- I have not been the daughter I should be to Him, I have let the things of my life effect our relationship- and life has sucked. And I wonder why I let myself…let my life be somewhat miserable for so long and I am just realizing it completely right now. I try to make up for it by writing things that I know are true, and I know God has been speaking to me about. I hear Him so clearly, but sometimes I choose to still do my own thing. What kind of friend am I being? Its horrible. I wish I could go back 3 weeks and start all over. I let one circumstance control my life and then I haven’t gotten back on track yet. Starting back up is one of the hardest things though. Its like if you haven’t done something in so long, and you used to enjoy it and now its going to be hard again, ah you don’t want to start it again. But I do! I kinda just don’t completely how because to be honest I am ashamed. This just completely changes who I am and I hate it. So hellloooo I need to change it. I need to get back started; I need to do so many things….so many things. Thankfully God is still here. .. He has been silent lately, and understandably. If your friend just ignores you after you try and try and try to speak to them, you eventually are just going to be silent to them.

Break the silence. That’s what I am doing right now. Committing right now that I am breaking the silence. I am doing what needs to be done no matter how ashamed I am and no matter how I feel. Feelings can overtake you. But right now I am going to base off what I need to do and not worry about my feelings. I cannot change the past and now I just have to move forward with a new outlook no matter what the consequences may be. They may be really hard to deal with and cause some heart ache but I am now willing to accept and be that determined person I know I am. That committed person I know I am. That woman within me that I know God has created me to be. I am willing to do whatever it takes to become that. No matter what. My focus is going to be heavenward and on Him all the moments of my day. Distractions of this world may try to creep in, but that is where I am going to put my foot down and say no. say no to the desires of this world.

Funny thing- God speaks to me the most through facebook. I know its weird but its true. – I have this verse application on my page and like it changes every day. Earlier in the semester the verse didn’t change for the longest time and then it changed on a specific day that really spoke to me. With the first verse being about peace and then when it changed to be about His perfect plan. Okay so lately it hasn’t changed and it was Romans 8:6 “The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” So I had been really thinking about this verse a lot because it hasn’t changed. And I know I have let circumstances control my life recently so I was like hmmm…. Then today it changed! To this: 1 John 2:12 “I write to you dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of His name” okay whoa. That really really spoke to me. Because as I have let circumstances take control, sins have been committed that have just lingered, and just knowing, being reminded that my sins have been forgiven that on His name they have been forgiven that Christ has washed away my sins by His own blood makes me want to cry.

God never ceases to amaze me even when He is seems silent.

Commit. Determination. Blessings.

{embrace the journey}

unveil my heart

Veils [jason morant]

What will it take to be closer to You
Show me what stands in my way
Strip away all of the veils on my heart Lord
You know that I want just to look at Your face

What can I give as I lay at Your throne
Is there a song to be sung
Search me all over my life is in Your hands
You know that I want to fall deeper in love with You

I’m following hard after You Lord You’re all that I need in my life Show me what I need to do To bring joy to Your heart

And strip away all of the veils on my heart Lord And know that I just want to look at Your face O Jesus Your beautiful face

rescued

Nehemiah 9:28

“But as soon as they were at peace, your people again committed evil in your sight, and once more you let their enemies conquer them. Yet whenever your people turned and cried to you again for help, you listened once more from heaven. In your wonderful mercy, you rescued them many times!

refuge & renewal

my brain is tired, it hurts, it's on overload

i woke up this morning not wanting to go to they gym, but i drive my sister there too so i can't get out of it.....but this devotion came in my email this morning (Back to the Bible email devotions by Warren Wiersbe) :

Read Psalm 46:1-3

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" (v. 1). This assurance from the Lord ought to take care of all of our fears and problems. God is our refuge--He hides us. God is our strength--He helps us. These two go together. At times in our lives we need a refuge. The storm is blowing and the battle is raging, and we have to run somewhere to hide. It's not a sin to hide, but it is a sin to stay hidden. God hides us so that He can help us. Then we can return to the battle and face the storm. This is not escape but rejuvenation.

The Old Testament contains 21 different Hebrew words for trouble. Here the word trouble means "in tight places." If you are in a tight place today, let me suggest that you run by faith to Jesus. But don't go to Him to escape. Go there and tell Him, "Lord, I want to go back to the battle. I want to go back to my work. I want to carry the burdens of life, but you have to give me the strength." Then you can claim this marvelous promise of verse 1.

Notice the conclusion: "Therefore we will not fear" (v. 2). When God is available as your refuge and your strength, you have nothing to fear. Take time to run to the Lord.

Are circumstances overwhelming you? Take refuge in the Lord. He will enable you to continue with renewed strength and confidence.

So the last line really jumped out at me....because yes circumstances are overwhelming me right now and feel like i do not have anymore strength left and it is just so reassuring that He will give me renewed strength and confidence.

God is amazing. He gives you what you need exactly when you need them.

take refuge. cast burdens. renewed strength.

{embrace the journey}

TODAY

TODAY i completed my research paper
TODAY i slept in a little too much
TODAY i sent my paper to the color printer without knowing
TODAY i spent 10 frickin bucks on a paper
TODAY i am not spending another dime
TODAY i thanked the Lord for giving me this day
TODAY i learned something new
TODAY i know what it means to be a bond-servant
TODAY i will start over
TODAY i will choose life
TODAY i will choose to serve You
TODAY i will choose to love
TODAY i will make wise decisions
TODAY i will follow hard after You
TODAY i will stop searching for love
TODAY i will let love find me
TODAY i will accept who i am in You
TODAY i will strive to be a better and better person
TODAY i will shut my mouth
TODAY i will put others above my own needs
TODAY i will wake up and focus on just TODAY
TODAY i will not expect tomorrow
TODAY i will forget the past
TODAY i will move on
TODAY i will serve ONLY You
TODAY You will reign in my life
TODAY You will be the focus
TODAY You will be the only priority
TODAY You have control
TODAY You will influence my decisions
TODAY You will be and not i
TODAY You will hold me
TODAY You will challenge me
TODAY is a new day
TODAY i will lay my head on my pillow and have no regrets
TODAY i lived for YOU
TODAY . . . TODAY


{embrace the journey}

fallen

beautiful days

endless times
by the bay
with you

wishing
dreaming
contemplating
my mind is filled with you

do you see
do you know
will i show
what i feel for you

reaching
falling
over and over
will i end with you

fallen
to my rescue
you stand over me
i look up to you

gazing in your eyes
i finally realize
you will never see
my heart for you

however
you don't know
now and forever
i will always love you

big yellow balloon

Picture this:

You are a child and you are about to go on a trip to Disney World. You are so excited you can hardly stand yourself! Through the airport you hold your daddy’s hand so that you do not get lost. However, you see a big yellow balloon!

You let go of your daddy’s hand and take off desiring to play with it. You hear your daddy yell for you in the distance to come back! But you ignore his voice and keep on running after that enticing big yellow balloon. You finally catch up to the big yellow balloon, - oh! and it’s so nice to play with! You tie the string around your wrist and just skip around with glee. You hear your daddy again say, “Come back! It’s not time to play.” But you just smile, pretend not to hear him and keep playing.

Your daddy sees in the distance a strange man starting to approach you. You see the man and thinks he looks nice, he has lots of pretty colorful balloons! The man leans over to you and whispers in your ear, “You can have any balloon you want if you take my hand.” So of course, you take his hand.

As he is about to yank you up into his arms, your daddy comes and rescues you. He fights to have you back as you are being torn between the two. Your daddy cuts the big yellow balloon off your wrist and embraces you in his arms as he takes you away from the man. You are so scared and do not know what to do.

You are just glad to be resting safe in the arms of your daddy again.



"And He did it, rescued us from certain doom. And He'll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing." 2 Cor. 1:10

{embrace the journey}

too many questions?

question.

actually, questions.

these are the questions on my mind as of lately. . .

If someone is on life support and has no brain activity whatsoever, are they dead?- do they go to heaven then...or when life support is taken away?

who are you really?

why do we spend so much time wasting time?

is that time really wasted?

where are my priorities?

why is oprah so good at what she does?

how can we reach those who are lost?

how can we reach those who don't really know they are lost?

how can i better improve myself?

how can i stay determined to my word?

how can i be lovable?

how can i love others more?

why is life so confusing?

why does God take some people away and keep some here?

why do some people go through more storms than others?

why do we keep sinning?

why are boys so frustrating?

why are gals so complicated?

can life be simple anymore?

when is the right time to read God's word?

does it really matter?

why do i keep procrastinating, when i know it doesn't work?

why do i always have so many questions??

haha

what's your favorite color?

what is your family like?

what lies underneath that smile?

what's the story behind those big eyes?

what is going on in your head right now?

what do you think of me?

how come i have such a passion for youth?

how can i learn from my mistakes better?

how can i stop making so many?

who will be my next love?

who will love me with the love of Christ?

who will love me enough to spend the rest of their life with me?

who will i love enough to spend the rest of my life with him?

and. . . random:

why do our dishes keep disappearing?

okay. . . i have more. . . haha

how can i run farther?

how can i build up endurance?

how can i be the best i can be?

how come God still loves me?

I AM SO THANKFUL HE DOES THOUGH!

questions.

they define a conversation most of the time. that's how you get to know someone. that's how you start to understand someone. it's how you form a relationship, a friendship.

sometimes i think if i have too many questions then i will annoy whoever i am asking. but thank goodness God never gets tired of my questions or ever gets annoyed. sometimes i think that its wrong to question so much- or to ask the hard questions to God or question Him sometimes. but thats how we form our relationship- i ask the questions and then He has the opportunity to show Himself to me- and the answer to me - in the way He wants to answer it though. but it's so reassuring to know that no matter how many questions i ask He never gets tired of them. i am spending time with Him, and that's what He loves. - for us to spend time with Him -

so, yes, i do have a lot of questions in my mind- and i do voice them quite often- and- some are completely random and some are completely not. . . but they all have an underlying purpose to them. so if i ask too many questions- that just means i want to know more about you, want to really know what you think, and just want to spend time with you. -

question.



{embrace the journey}

rest

Jesus says, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Matthew 11:28-29


Jesus will take the burden for you- for he already ultimately has. He can handle it better than you can. He will give you rest, when you allow to rest in Him. When you allow yourself to lay your burdens down at His feet, at the cross, in His presence. No matter how stressed or how much a load you are carrying- it can be lifted from you. It can be lifted by the Savior. then you will experience a new found peace and rest that will be unexplainable- even thought circumstances may not change- you will be rested in His arms.
learn to watch His ways; see and live freely.

lay [it] down. rest in His arms. live freely

hmmm

"God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him"
-John Piper



just chew on that for awhile.

flashlights

so this weekend i finished my "study" for one of my classes- which was "Does sleep deprivation effect performance?". yeah so we had to stay up all night on friday and that has absolutely killed me with all focus and motivation. which is horrible because i have way more than enough to do! AH!
but this was something refreshing that was said in the youth service today:

We are to be salt and light to the world.

The verse i want to pick out is Matthew 5:16
"Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

Tom Freitas, the youth pastor, used an illustration to go along with this particular verse. He had three flashlights up on stage. They all were all the same color, but the only seen difference was their sizes. He had a small, medium and a large one. All of them serve the same purpose- same function- to bring forth light, to bring light to the darkness- to find your way through the dark.

However, when he went to turn them on- you could definitely see the difference in the three.

The large flashlight was empty. There was no source of power-- the light was missing.
The medium flashlight had the power- but it was dead.
The small flashlight had the power and was working.

Now, each one of us relates to one of those flashlights.

The large one with no power- we don't have the evidence of Christ in our life- or we don't have Christ in our life. we try to fill that space with other things other than Christ- we fill it with the temporary pleasures of this world in stead of filling it with the only One who can satisfy- Our Savior. Therefore, there is no light to bring out- there is no light to shine before others- in the darkness you are lost.

The medium one has the source of power yet its dead. The purpose is there, the capability is there- all we have to do is change the batteries and amazing light will be brought forth. We are choosing casual Christianity. We blend in with the crowd and talk the talk but we do not walk the walk. We go to church but there is no evidence or difference in our everyday life. Christ has not penetrated us to live ultimately for Him. We choose not to use the source of power that is within us and when we try to share of the Lord Jesus Christ, we simply cannot because there is no light in our lives and there is no difference in us than the ones who do not have the power.

The small one has it. We got it. The source of power and using it. Practicing and obeying what the Lord has said and through a life style like that, we are shining brightly for the Lord. Everyone can see the difference in your life. It is evident when we are out with others, when we are alone, when we are trying to see through the darkness, when we are going through everyday life, when we are with the Lord- ALL THE TIME! we are a light bringing Glory to the Lord- and others will see that light and be drawn to it- and ask what is the source of your light and gives you the opportunity to share the love of Jesus.


So what flashlight are you?


How do you become the small flashlight? --- by how you live your life.


Don't live "churchianity" - live Christianity.


{embrace the journey}

stop&fight

When you run from something it only stays with you longer, if you fight for something it only makes you stronger.


what are you running from?

turn around and fight. even when all odds are against you, or you feel to weak to even turn around- the reason you get weaker is because you have been exhausted from running- stop running- turn around and with determination- fight what's been chasing you. if you don't- your life will just become more miserable and exhausting.

who wants to die of running? its better to die fighting.

you are not alone.

God fights for and with you. put on His armor today- and never take it off. - you can't run with the armor on- - you can only fight.

"Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints" Ephesians 6:13-18

running may be the way to win the race- but if you are being chased and running in the wrong direction- you are far from winning- to gain back that overtaken path- you are going to have to fight your way back- and then finish the race with great strength and endurance.

stop running. start fighting.

gain determination-endurance-victory.

ashes into beauty

wow.

Last Saturday a girl on my hall asked me about this song "At the foot of the Cross" (by Kathryn Scott). She new the lyrics but didn't know the title. so I told her and it just made me remember the song and ah i just love it. So since she mentioned it- it has been on my mind all week. and tonight in church we sang that song. and we like never sing that song. whoa. i mean okay- maybe you don't see it this way- but to me i so see this as a "God thing" because He places things on others hearts to share with you and that's one way He speaks to us. inadvertently through others. amazing!
here are the lyrics to the song:

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received

And You've won my heart Yes You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life


That song just speaks to my heart so much- especially where it says - we trade our ashes in for beauty- lay every burden at the foot of the cross--- and that is where we are made COMPLETE. only at the foot of the cross is where we are made complete. nothing else can make you complete except the mercy and love that is shown at the foot of the cross. there is nothing else. nothing in this life can complete you. nothing. not another, not an object, not anything. only Jesus who shed his blood for us on that cross who rose from the dead with God's mighty power- and He makes us complete! we are lacking nothing when we are COMPLETE! think about that.

Then going along with that- this morning- well okay like the past two and half weeks have been rough. not gonna lie. and like- nothing else in this life can satisfy me, even though i try to fill my life with pointless temporary things- but only God is enough. only God can satisfy every desire i have. and that made me think of the song "Enough" this morning. and that was on my heart all day. and again- at church tonight we sang that song right after "At the foot of the Cross"
wow. thats all i could express when that song began to play. i had to sit back and be like God, You are speaking directly to me tonight- you are pulling me out of that slump- you are calling me to go to higher heights and not to be completely content in this little valley i am in- but know there are greater things for me that You have planned.
here are the lyrics to "Enough"

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You’re my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You’re the coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me

So, wow. The Lord really does speak to us when we can recognize His voice. and on top of all that Johnnie Moore spoke tonight on Ruth. - and how we need to become the person God has called us to be- to focus on how we need to be that person God has called us to be-satisfied in Him and thats when we will come across that "someone special" He also mentioned the difference in reputation and character. reputation is what people say about you and character is what God knows about you. and you can fake your reputation but you cannot fake your character- and if you do soon one day the truth of your character will rise up. we need to be more focused on working on our character than our reputation- and when we do, it will be like a domino effect-blessings will happen more quickly and also becoming who God desires you to be, knows you to be, created you to be.

so, instead of focusing on what others think of me, or seeking other things of this world, i need to become more than focused on the satisfaction and completion that the Lord brings- and the blessings that come with that.

a "clicking" moment happened tonight. like CLICK. i get it. i get what You have been trying to say to be all along. for so long. CLICK. :)

this is the cry of my heart to my heavenly Daddy:

"You are ALL i seek, You are ALL my heart longs for."


{embrace the journey}

inside me

So, i am trying to blog everyday just because.

i think it is just therapeutic to write out my thoughts, and i mean i don't even know who reads this ... it may only be me! but thats okay because i need to hear what i am saying to myself. wow i really am talking to myself. haha

anyways

this is going to be a random and probably pointless post tonight.

let's see here. . . [my stream of thoughts]

feelings. love. friendship. forgiveness. genuineness. reality. dreams. sadness. God. confusion. clarity. listen. talk. listen. wait. and more wait. wasted time. time. crazy. baseball. love. work. laughs. more laughter. laugh out loud. weird. favorites. dancing. singing. being sung to. melting. notes. pencils. light bulbs. fabric softener. diet dr. pepper. flowers. pictures. drawings. phone numbers. stalking. facebook. love. comfort. smiles. windows. candles. God. salt. pepper. friends. family. sacrifice. love. water bottles. frisbees. stress balls. stress. overwhelmed. projects. school. bible study. youth. love. running. race. campus. frustration. desire. longing. you. north. south. anywhere. wishing. praying. hoping. why. strong. weak. weaker. broken. healing. mending. beautiful. insecure. ugly. shine. stars. sun. Son. erase. time. start. finish. begin again. new starts. new beginnings. new mornings. new days. new nights. nights with you. love. friendship. care. wondering. pondering. beach. sunset. sunrise. tired. eyes. guitar. strings. teaching. speaking. dedication. determination. stubborn. love. who knows. trust. peace. patience. falling. falling hard. falling for you. falling for You. heart. whole heart. wholehearted. placing. all. flying. soaring. your arms. Your arms. held. secure. peace. more of You. less of me. hugs. kisses. wishes. patience. love. eyes. words. adore. driving me crazy. why. wonders. love. when. love. You. needs. wants. change. confidence. security. mountains. valleys. pulling. pushing. walking. running. who. me. photos. connection. too late. maybe. wishing. wondering. praying. thinking. pondering. praying. prince. princess. one day. love. thankful. water. sustainer. unconditional. faithful. always. forever and a day. love. God. life. identity. Christ. press on. love. someday. becoming. precious. daughter. never give up. love. colors. freedom. chains. freedom. believe. freedom. love. when. ready. let go.

"I can handle [it] better than you" -God.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him [satan], firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." 1 Peter 5:7


{embrace the journey}

dare to be different

open mic night.

believing in who you are.

confidence.

bravery.

daring to be different.

open mic night.


Tonight I went to our open mic night on campus. originally to see one of my friends play, and in which he didn't even get to- however....i got to listen and watch all the other people for two hours. the night was very interesting. at events like these you always get the talented and the ones who think they are. but everyone steps out on a limb to step up there on that stage in front of their peers. you believe in who you are no matter what others think of you. you are daring to be different.

The other night that phrase was just stuck on my mind for some reason "dare to be different."

I really don't like when people conform to others and what they think and what they do. the people pleasers of the world. they mold into everyone elses mold. they are not themselves all the time. i believe they have a fear of being different. they may think they are different, but they are the same- pleasers. pleasers have the same mentality towards everyone- ive gotta make them happy- i don't want them to be mad at me- i will do what they want- say what i think they may want to hear- there is no different aspect in them.

So, i have grown to be different. i used to be in the shoes of the people pleaser. but i have gone from high heels to tennis shoes. collared shirt to t-shirt. khakis to dresses. mix it up. . . i like being different. it took me so too long to figure out that.

I am the only non UNC fan in my whole entire family. . . because i wanted to be different. (oh I'm a wake forest demon deacon baby! )
When my family got new phones twice- i had to get the one that they did not get. i had to be original.
i like being original, unique, spontaneous, just i know what it is now- i like being me.

but again the thing is- it took me a while to figure out that i wanted to be different- well wanted to be me. who i was. who i am. who God created me to be. being confident in that. believing in that. once you gain that confidence in Christ, then you are able to see beyond and see who you truly are and you can truly be different-yourself. you do not have to please others- be the same- conform to this world.




its okay to beat to a different drum;
to be the brightest crayon in the box;
to be the craziest button of the bunch.




in the words of Switchfoot "this is your life, are you who you want to be?"

are you molding into that person that everyone else wants you to be? are you who you want to be? are you confident of who you are in Christ? are you a people pleaser?


who are you?


dare to be different.



{embrace the journey}

none but Jesus

None But Jesus [hillsong]

In the quiet
In the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored
When You call i won't refuse
Each new day again I'll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos in confusion
I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won't delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord
Forever more


This song was sung in church today and it pierced my soul. The song is
pretty much self explanatory.
just something that spoke to my heart today.
and you know what?
when your heart may feel in lots of pieces- - - its going to stay that
way until you give your heart to the Lord and let Him put it back
together for you. . . until you do- you will remain in that brokenness
and you will not have the clarity to do what the Lord wants you
to do. He will take your heart and mend it and then give it back to you
whenever He knows you are ready.

So through everything in your life- God will give you the strength and
grace to do His will. Choose to live in Him.

place ALL of you into ALL of Him.


{embrace the journey} 

upside down

So I was talking to one of my friends today and i remembered something that just love- an analogy.

Palm Sunday I was at my church and during the whole entire sermon there was this guy painting on the stage. i seriously could not pay attention to the sermon at all because i was trying to figure out what the heck this guy was painting. it was just not making sense at all. there was this big swoop and it looked like a little boat in a big wave or something and ahh it was driving me crazy. so i would keep thinking of different things it could be. and that occupied my thoughts during the whole like 35 minutes of my pastors sermon. however- at the end of the sermon the painter dude turned the painting upside down and it was a BEAUTIFUL painting of the profile of Jesus with a crown of thorns on His head.

Whoa. I was amazed. simply AHHmazed.

You know, that is kind of how our lives are. God is painting our lives. He is the Painter. and a lot of times we cannot figure out for the lives of us what He is painting. We do not understand what He is doing, when He is doing it, why some things happen, why other things don't happen and so on. . . but sometimes for us to understand the whole picture, or for God to make something beautiful in your life He has to turn your life upside down to reveal the beauty.

And after He turns our lives upside down- we can then see the Beauty He was creating in us.

wow.

So whenever you do not understand what is going on in your life and you feel that your life is getting turned upside down- wait - because something beautiful is on the way and God is just waiting to reveal that to you!


He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure. -Pslam 147:3-5


{embrace the journey}

run THE race

This is something i wrote a while back...like september of 2006, it was one of the very first things that i wrote and kinda got me started in the joy of writing. ...but, running has been on my mind and this popped up in my mind that i had written this. . .

You know, there is something that holds or has held everyone back from being the best they can be, and being the most effective witness for Christ, that weighs us down in this Christian Race.

Hebrews 12:1 says:"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

First let me say that- The Christian journey is compared to a race in so many places. and i began to think why? I mean paul compares it to a run, the author of hebrews does as well. I mean why not a walk, why not a swim, why not just sitting or anything else. This really got me thinking. To run in a race it takes preparation, dedication, training, perseverance, good habits, practice and believing. Alot of application. anyone can say they can run, but can you really? Its like anyone can say they are a Christian, but are they really? (okay that topic is for another day!) anyways- the Christian faith is so much like a race. I mean other sports need all of that too, but since running is continuous and really focusing on your own personal growth and strength and perseverance i guess that is why it is compared to a race. okay now back to how we can run the race better.

In Hebrews 12:1 It says to throw off everything that hinders us, and the sin that weighs us down. This Christian race is the most important race, actually most important thing in life. In a real race the runners barely wear anything and why? so they can run faster and win the race. If they have a heavy t-shirt on, or longer shorts, or say they have ankle weights, jewelry, or anything extra- it will effect their run- in a negative way. that extra stuff is just like the sin in our lives- no matter how big or small it may be. It is in the way of us being the best runner we can be. Its hard to let that sin go, but once we do the run will be lighter, it will make us better and more effective.

i wonder why we hold on to the things that hinder our run when we know when we let go it will become easier. the author of hebrews thought the same thing- for he says let go of the sin that EASILY entangles us. sin just gets us so easily, with us knowing it does and we are better without it.

The race takes perseverance as well. this life is not easy, and even when throwing off the sin it will become easier but running is still hard! nothing will ever make running really really easy. you have to have determination and perseverance to finish. Same with Christianity. you have to have perseverance during the hills and the downhills. the key is to never look back and to never give up or to never take detours. keep running the race that is set in front of you.

I was sitting at my little cousins baseball game and a player almost didnt make it to second base because he looked back to see where the ball was. well looking back made him slow down and almost not be safe. We should never look back to our old lives when we are new in Christ. We should never look back slowing our run willing to risk something and not being safe. So my mom was sitting next to me and i shared my newfound analogy with her and she looked at me and said we should never take detours either. That is so true. For when running the race there is only one way to get there effectively and fairly and in a way to win. taking detours only slows us down as well. and sin makes us take the detours. keep running straight keeping your eye on the goal. - GOD -

anyways- this is getting lengthy and i really could probably talk about this for a very long time. but if you want to hear anymore of my thoughts just ask me. this was dear to my heart today. Sin so entagles us and don't let it. Don't let sin hinder you. realize it only hurts you in the long run. be effective. HAVE THE VICTORY!

be free.
run THE race.

{embrace the journey}

unanswerable

As i hit my snooze button on my alarm for a half a hour. . . i certainly did not want to get up! my bed is too comfortable and comfy...and its lofted and way up high so its easier just to stay up there!

and right now i could go back to sleep for a little bit before i have to get ready for the day.

Last night i had a conversation with a couple of my friends (andrew and jeremy) about those deep questions of life- like

Is it possible to truly love with out God?
If a person never hears the Gospel, (like a tribe out in the jungle) will they go to heaven or hell?

and i try so hard to want to answer these questions to the fullest extent but in reality... pretty much the unanswerable questions that are higher than our understanding that we want to bring down to our level but we just simply can't.

that brings me to think of Isaiah 55:6-7

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

So in essence we may - well we really will not know the answers to these hard questions.
We just have to believe that God knows the hearts of His people and we have to leave it up to Him. . .

on that note - jeremy- said this that stood out to me:

does it matter whether or not we approve of God's actions?


God is so much higher than us and i mean He created us- so why would He want or need our approval or want to give us the answers to everything? andrew mentioned that if we knew all the answers and then we would be their savior. so true.
then--if we had all the answers there would be no reason to trust, no reason to seek Him harder, to believe in Him, no reason to rely on Him, no reason for God at all. The mystery of God would be gone. There would be no reason to live.

but THANK THE LORD His ways are higher than mine are and that He gives us reason to live!!

each and every new day He will reveal Himself to you the more you seek Him, the more you follow hard after Him, the more you love Him. . .

so even if the questions are unanswerable- - place trust in God's hands because He knows the answer. and one day- - - if you believe in His Son, and that He died for you, and rose from the dead just for you, paid that price of your sin, and believe that Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life and no one comes to the Father except through Him (John 14:6) then you will find out the answer one day when you are united with God in heaven.

trust.believe.seek.love.

{embrace the journey}

surpasses all

So, being a Spiritual Life Director on my hall- we are required to go to a meeting once a week. I usually dont really like to go because it is in the evening and by that time i am really tired and ready to head back to my room.
But its funny how God works. He is pretty amazing if i do say so myself.

The topic today dealt with these verses found in Philippians 3:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I highlighted the words that stand out to me. the ones that really spoke to my heart. and know that when Paul wrote this letter to the Philippians he was in jail and undergoing so much persecution. Those words he was speaking were not just words to say them to encourage them- but words that he was experience and living and understanding. He knew this in his heart because he was right there in the midst of turmoil yet experiencing the peace only God can give.

That just amazes me so much. like seriously, when i go through the little (which i think are huge) situations of life that rock my boat the first thing on my mind is usually not REJOICE, but more like ahh when is this going to be over??! but Paul reassures that the Lord is near, and bring all your requests to God, be thankful for where you, and then the Lord will give you a peace you cannot even imagine and he will guard your heart and mind. He will guard your heart and mind. The emotions that come with reasonableness. He will clear your mind and your heart and help you focus on what is important- pretty much Him and what he wants you to do and remind you that you are His precious child :)

"This does not mean the absence of trials on the outside, but it does mean a quiet confidence within, regardless of circumstances, people or things."

So dont be anxious. Wow those words are SO easy to say but SO hard to live ya know?

It's down to the wire right now with school and who you will influence and impact. count it ... 5 weeks until home for summer.

God is near. He gives peace. Believe and rest in Him.

{embrace the journey}

held tight

Explosion.

Have you ever had SO MANY thoughts and everything going through your head and your heart at the same time that you felt like you were going to explode? yeah- wow that happened to me tonight at the end of church and it was during the last set of worship songs. my mind just went CRAZY and i had to sit down and rest my head in my hands because i felt that if i didnt, i was too weak and my head would go in a million pieces right then right there- so many questions, so much stuff, so much of everything- friends, family, next year, right now, decisions, relationships, pressure, school, projects, heart leaps, heart aches, confusion, honesty, love, everything under the sun. I felt like my heart and mind were undergoing a war! i guess a lot of it boils down to uncertainties and insecurities. which i know i shouldnt really be feeling because i know a God who created me and all things and knows all things and He is the only certain thing!
on top of all that, i had a really good friend for about a year and then he kinda "stopped our friendship" for a while and it really hurt my heart and my trust with him. (that happened in november) and tonight, of all nights, he wants to start talking to me again. i just dont know what to think or what to feel...it just adds to all the things going through my mind and heart. my heart seems to get hurt more and more... and maybe that is because i put my whole heart into relationships and maybe that is what gets me in trouble. but a lot of times i cant help it. but maybe i need to keep my heart more alert, and more watchful than i do. (proverbs 4:23) i just dont know
that is the phrase of my life right now, i just dont know.
i want to put my heart out there again- - - but im afraid. i dont want it to be broken again. its like im not going to put my heart out there for that "special someone" until i know for certain his heart is out there too-- whenever he comes my way. and know that he will hold me and reassure me that he will not hurt me- - and love me with the kind of love that God loves. and i dont know what i am trying to say. but so many, too many things are criss crossing in my mind right now. so that was just one of the diagonals of my thoughts- haha feel special haha

one of the only things that i am thankful of right now is that God is certain. .and in all my uncertainties He is my certainty. how refreshing to know that. how comforting. how amazing. how like whoa!

He knows my heart and He knows how to reach me. and He is....stretching out His hand to me, pulling me out of the raging sea...now...all i have to do is grab His hand and never let go, never look back down, and never desire to go back into the raging waters.

that reminds me of a song that i just love. Scott Krippayne "Sometimes He calms the storm":

Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child

THAT IS SO TRUE!

sometimes we expect God to just calm everything in our lives, but really sometimes He just wants to hold us- close to His chest and just reassure us that He has our heart and He is here for us.

So through all these questions and thoughts and everything, I know i am in the arms of my Father and He is holding me tight :)

{embrace the journey}

step by step

Wow, so tonight is prayer group night and i sat in one of my prayer leaders/good friend's group. and it really spoke to me. and then another one of my prayer leaders she just shared the most amazing song with her group and with me and i want to share both of these tonight.

So, okay. when you go up stairs you usually look where you are going, especially if they are steep stairs. If you look at the very top of the stairs and keep climbing each stair you lose your place and you stumble and may even fall. But if you look at each step you take- then it is a lot easier and you will not stumble and you will make it up the stairs in due time safely.
That's like our lives with God. When you focus on each moment and what God has put in front of you for the day then you will not fall. Because God will not give you more than you can bare each day. but if you get ahead of yourself and start thinking too far ahead, get overwhelmed, and you lose your step. so, with the struggles you are trying to overcome- just look and focus on the day, on the little victories of the day. because if you look to far ahead you tend to put things off, tend to fail, tend to fall and get more behind than if you would have just focused on each moment/each day.

Matthew 6:32-34
Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs and He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.

So the next time you go up stairs remember to look and take one at a time. . . step by step . . . for God will help you overcome for the day. . . live for each moment of the day.

Now here is the song that another gal shared with me:

Plain [zoegirl]

He made you feel plain
When he forgot your name
Well let me tell you something,
I have felt the same.
I know you're in pain
But there'll be another Boy along the way and
God He made you beautiful and
There's nothing about you thats plain

You are jewel you're a treasure
You are one of a kind
And you shine just as bright
As the stars in the sky
You're a rare kind of wonder
Created just right
So keep your head up no matter the pain
Theres nothing about you thats plain

You tell me you're not the type
The kind of girl that they like
And your a little insecure about
How you look in their eyes.
Well fashion will change,
Trends come and go everyday,
But God only made one of you and
There's nothing about you thats plain

[CHORUS]
You are a jewel you're a treasure
You are one of a kind and
You shine just a bright as
The stars in the sky.
You're a rare kind of wonder created just right
So keep your head up no matter the pain
Theres nothing about you thats plain.

See your mind, it is precious
Though your heart may be restless
And your eyes they will see
All that you're meant to be
'Cause your spirit is strong
And your soul carries on
You'll keep your head up no matter the pain
There's nothing about you that's plain

You know I've had my days,
When I feel out of place....yea
I look at who I am,
Cover what I can ,
I wish it all would change. But...
Take the makeup away
You see the same girl still remains..
She may not feel that beautiful
But theres nothing about her thats plain.

[CHORUS]
You are jewel you're a treasure
You are one of a kind
And you shine just as bright
As the stars in the sky
You're a rare kind of wonder
Created just right so keep
Your head up no matter the pain
Theres nothing about you thats plain

You may have felt plain,
But...God, He knows your name
Let me tell you something, yeah...
There's nothing about you that's plain



wow....that song pretty much speaks for itself. . . but it's so easy to feel that you are just plain. and not "loved" in the way you would like to be, and you feel that you will never find that special someone that is out there- and you start to lose hope. . . and start to blame yourself- or start to look at all your ow flaws and question- what is wrong with me? what is wrong with me? am i not beautiful enough? am i too boring? will someone get to know who i really am? will they take the time? will i become more confident in myself-in Christ and who i am in Him? will that be more attractive to someone than anything? will i stand confident knowing that i am God's precious daughter? will i hope and believe that there is that someone out there that will love God more than me and see that love i have for the Lord and love that about me? what will i believe?

so, if you are feeling insecure, trust that you are beautiful and not plain. and that someone is out there for you. and if you know that there is that special someone in your life and you have not let them know it- let them know! let them know what makes them beautiful to you. don't hide that insecurity of what they will think or what they will think of you. step out on faith.

keep that head held high no matter what you are feeling and know with confidence that God loves you and He created you and when you live for Him, He will supply your needs moment by moment, step by step, day by day.


{embrace the journey}

genuineness

So, i really just find it an outlet just to write.

On Mondays we have RHLM (residence hall leadership meeting) and each week a different person has to share whats going on in their life or a testimony or something. Then anyone can ask them any questions. Well....that has been stressing me out so much- i was like what am i going to share? Lord, how have you been working in my life? - well because i have been struggling and i didnt want to share that i have been because i am in that leadership position ya know ?

well...I listened to a sermon by Matt Chandler "Healing and Hope" And basically he was talking about how those who grow up in the church struggle a lot with secret sins and secrecy because we are too afraid to share our struggles with others because we think we are not supposed to struggle or we don't want to look weak in front of others or we just don't want to admit that we have problems and are weak. We know all the right things to say, we know all the right things to think, but do we live them out? We are living this like of hypocrisy. And the longer we harbor these secret sins, the harder it will be to get out of them. They will build up and build up and one day they will be made known and it will be a lot worse. And there is a way to end that hypocrisy.

JUST ADMIT THAT YOU ARE STRUGGLING.

and that you cannot keep living the way you are living. and change it.

that's it. admit and change.

sooo..... God definitely sent that word directly to me tonight because that is EXACTLY i mean EXACTLY what i have been dealing with. i mean if you look down a couple of post i even said that i had been vulnerable, admitted i had been messing up and then erased it all afraid of what people who knew me would think. but you know what i did tonight? I went into our meeting- admitted that i had failed these girls that have been looking up to me- admitted that i am struggling and that i need prayer. and you know what? that is the most freeing moment i have had in a long time. but now that i have admitted it...i need to make changes to my life. and live out what i believe and what i say. be completely genuine.

But God speaks in so many ways. sooo many ways. and He has definitely spoken to me today in numerous ways. that is how i know that my heart is still with Him, how i know that i am still His precious daughter.

I can hear His voice.

so, today- its okay to struggle, its not okay to keep living with secret sins.

admit. let go. change.