Wednesday night was amazing. never have i experienced being so close to the Lord. however- it is Friday now- and have i already forgotten that moment? in some ways yes, because I am still holding on- and even today, convocation- am i listening to the voice of God in every situation with Him? this is the battle that is going on within me. the sruggle of the flesh and spirit. I am told to guard myself with the armor of God- but how am i supposed to hold that sword of the spirit that will slay the devil if i am holding onto something else oh so tightly.
its like Moses in Exodus 4. . . he was holding a staff (representing his life- what he has always known- his power- everything)and God said throw it down- and then God used Moses to work a miracle. and God used Moses from then on to do much more than moses ever thought he could do.
my staff- God is saying "throw it down- and let me work a miracle, but I can not work that miracle until you fully let it go and not come running back for it."
I have let go like letting go of a yoyo. you let go and it comes back up. i have done that so much. let it go, and then let it come back. i have to detach the string from my finger in order to completely let go.
the thing is, what will it take for me to get it. i hope in this moment i will get it. but i know the things of tomorrow will come at me even harder- happens every time. once it gets to hard- i yank it back up.
i pray and hope that today, in this moment, in this stillness, i will throw down my staff and watch God work in my life.
completely. throwing everything down.
here is a song that has spoken to my heart:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa8w7mGug0c&feature=related
Friday, April 24, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
power love grace
woohoo. i am moving to D.C.
I cannot seriously wait. but yet i can.
this is just a passage i have been feeling lately. . .
Romans 7:14-25
14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[d] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another powee within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
I pray that I and you can live in His power and grace and love and overcome the enemy around us.
[He gives us power through His love by His grace]
I cannot seriously wait. but yet i can.
this is just a passage i have been feeling lately. . .
Romans 7:14-25
14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[d] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another powee within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
I pray that I and you can live in His power and grace and love and overcome the enemy around us.
[He gives us power through His love by His grace]
Monday, April 13, 2009
waiting
Waiting is the hardest thing to do...and you are not doing anything at all.
"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. " Philippians 4:6
That verse is my life right now.
I can say though, in waiting I get closer to God because I am in constant communication with Him. And he LOVES it when we have an intimate relationship with Him, therefore i believe he loves to make us wait.
Waiting requires us relying and trusting Him COMPLETELY.
I have one more week to wait about an internship- and may this be the most amazing week as I fully rely on and Trust my Savior.
please pray with me :)
"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. " Philippians 4:6
That verse is my life right now.
I can say though, in waiting I get closer to God because I am in constant communication with Him. And he LOVES it when we have an intimate relationship with Him, therefore i believe he loves to make us wait.
Waiting requires us relying and trusting Him COMPLETELY.
I have one more week to wait about an internship- and may this be the most amazing week as I fully rely on and Trust my Savior.
please pray with me :)
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
i am ready
I am ready to start anew. to start a life again. to love again. to be full again. to fly again. to soar again. to let love in again. to be free again. to let loose again. to be disciplined again. to outreach again. to be crazy again. to be spontaneous again. to think for myself again. i am ready to be beautiful again. i am ready to not regret again. to be completely yours again. however...i am ready to be me again.
one day
somehow
i will be who i am supposed to be, who i am created to be, who i am desired to be.
today is a new day. . . i am ready.
one day
somehow
i will be who i am supposed to be, who i am created to be, who i am desired to be.
today is a new day. . . i am ready.
Friday, April 10, 2009
but today. . .
i'm having a hard time today.
i am having a hard time accepting things i decided to do.
i am having a hard time not regretting.
i am regretting decisions i made.
and
i cannot do anything about it.
he's moved on. . . . so quick. . .
why am i so s l o w . . . . . . .
it is hurting my heart.
that absent feeling. that i should fill with my Christ- who sacrificed everything and loves me so incredibly much.
but today,
i'm having a hard time.
all i have is tears falling down my face.
i didn't know i had anymore to give.
i'm ready to not cry. to not regret. to not be alone.
i'm ready to be fulfilled to the fullest,
not by earthly gratifications but by eternal significance.
i'm ready to smile and mean it.
i'm ready to take the mask off.
i'm ready to be completely free.
but today,
i'm having a hard time.
You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and kind in all his works.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
Psalm 145:16-19
i am having a hard time accepting things i decided to do.
i am having a hard time not regretting.
i am regretting decisions i made.
and
i cannot do anything about it.
he's moved on. . . . so quick. . .
why am i so s l o w . . . . . . .
it is hurting my heart.
that absent feeling. that i should fill with my Christ- who sacrificed everything and loves me so incredibly much.
but today,
i'm having a hard time.
all i have is tears falling down my face.
i didn't know i had anymore to give.
i'm ready to not cry. to not regret. to not be alone.
i'm ready to be fulfilled to the fullest,
not by earthly gratifications but by eternal significance.
i'm ready to smile and mean it.
i'm ready to take the mask off.
i'm ready to be completely free.
but today,
i'm having a hard time.
You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and kind in all his works.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
Psalm 145:16-19
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
leashes and diving boards
SO, I went to McLean Bible Church this past weekend. It was an amazing experience. I got to learn more about their church, what goes on and experience some of the ministry life there.
On Friday night we went to a worship service for college students and the College Pastor had some amazing illustrations I want to share.
Okay-- so you know those parents that are so over protective and do not want to lose their child, but also they want to do their own thing?? -- they put their kids on those leashes- the ones that hook around the wrist or even if you want to look cute- the kid has this back pack harness that's in the shape of an animal or something - and they are connected to a leash that their parents hold. So, when the parent and the kid are out- the kid can do his own thing and the parent can do his own thing. The parent can pull in the child when he wants to or when they need to keep moving or when he just needs his child next to him. He can pull the child in and out to give freedom then restriction. How much more loving and endearing is it for the parent to hold the childs hand? that is more intimate and shows a relationship.
That is exactly what we do with God. We put him on a leash. We say- hey i will go do my own thing and you can do your own thing. we pull him into our life only when we need him. we give God freedom to do his own thing- and then when we need him in our lives we restrict him close to him and do not want him to go anywhere. we hold that leash tight that we do not hold his hand. we do not allow him to be intimate with us and love us completely.
what is wrong with this picture?! this is NOT how we should treat God, but be honest with yourself...that is exactly how we do. kind of sad right? like he created us. he wants to be with us. he loves us so much he wants to be our everything. but he gives us free will to do whatever we want. how amazing is it that he is still there for us even though we do not always treat him right.
I pray that everyday more and more I can become more like Him and not put him on a leash and hold that leash--- but actually hold his hand
One more illustration really made me think.
The Pastor was a life guard for a while and he said he loved watching the little kids jump off the diving boards. He said there were three types of kids.
Each way is how bold we are in Christ.
We will only be as bold as much as we trust God
The first kid doesn't trust the water will be okay for him to jump in. he gets too scared to actually see what is down there. something inside of him is holding him back.
The second kid is really timid, doesnt really know what to do. but he kind of just goes out there to see what is going to happen. he thinks that the water will be okay.
Then the third trusts the water is going to break his fall and he will enjoy it! he is not afraid at all because he knows that the water is safe. nothing is holding him back.
I think you can see where I am going with this. relate that to your Christian life.
are you too scared to trust God? to go where he wants you to go? to trust he has a perfect plan for your life? is something- a sin, an idol- holding you back from experiencing what God wants for you? are you no believing that God can rescue you?
are you kind of trusting God? sometimes you do, and other times you dont? do you know Him? do you really believe that God is able to help you out in everything that you do? do you believe that God is good but doubt his power?
are you trusting God with all of your heart, soul and mind? are you willing to go and do whatever he calls you to do? are you living in a trusting relationship with Him that he is showing you that you can do more than you can imagine? are you believing God and using his power?
Boldness comes from trusting God's power
GOD IS ABLE!
Do we believe it?
LIVE IT!
when you trust in His power, goodness and character.
you will have boldness and impact.
{embrace the journey}
On Friday night we went to a worship service for college students and the College Pastor had some amazing illustrations I want to share.
Okay-- so you know those parents that are so over protective and do not want to lose their child, but also they want to do their own thing?? -- they put their kids on those leashes- the ones that hook around the wrist or even if you want to look cute- the kid has this back pack harness that's in the shape of an animal or something - and they are connected to a leash that their parents hold. So, when the parent and the kid are out- the kid can do his own thing and the parent can do his own thing. The parent can pull in the child when he wants to or when they need to keep moving or when he just needs his child next to him. He can pull the child in and out to give freedom then restriction. How much more loving and endearing is it for the parent to hold the childs hand? that is more intimate and shows a relationship.
That is exactly what we do with God. We put him on a leash. We say- hey i will go do my own thing and you can do your own thing. we pull him into our life only when we need him. we give God freedom to do his own thing- and then when we need him in our lives we restrict him close to him and do not want him to go anywhere. we hold that leash tight that we do not hold his hand. we do not allow him to be intimate with us and love us completely.
what is wrong with this picture?! this is NOT how we should treat God, but be honest with yourself...that is exactly how we do. kind of sad right? like he created us. he wants to be with us. he loves us so much he wants to be our everything. but he gives us free will to do whatever we want. how amazing is it that he is still there for us even though we do not always treat him right.
I pray that everyday more and more I can become more like Him and not put him on a leash and hold that leash--- but actually hold his hand
One more illustration really made me think.
The Pastor was a life guard for a while and he said he loved watching the little kids jump off the diving boards. He said there were three types of kids.
- the kid who walks to the end of the board painfully, looks down at the water and gets freaked out- so he slowly walks backwards to the stairs off the back of the diving board and makes his way down the stairs
- the kid who goes to the end of the diving board, is kind of timid and barely jumps of the edge, but does and makes a little splash
- then there is the kid who just runs right off and then leaps in the air like there is no tomorrow! and he just keeps going back to discover more ways to jump off- like going from the cannon ball to the dive, to the flip to the backwards flip and so on!
Each way is how bold we are in Christ.
We will only be as bold as much as we trust God
The first kid doesn't trust the water will be okay for him to jump in. he gets too scared to actually see what is down there. something inside of him is holding him back.
The second kid is really timid, doesnt really know what to do. but he kind of just goes out there to see what is going to happen. he thinks that the water will be okay.
Then the third trusts the water is going to break his fall and he will enjoy it! he is not afraid at all because he knows that the water is safe. nothing is holding him back.
I think you can see where I am going with this. relate that to your Christian life.
are you too scared to trust God? to go where he wants you to go? to trust he has a perfect plan for your life? is something- a sin, an idol- holding you back from experiencing what God wants for you? are you no believing that God can rescue you?
are you kind of trusting God? sometimes you do, and other times you dont? do you know Him? do you really believe that God is able to help you out in everything that you do? do you believe that God is good but doubt his power?
are you trusting God with all of your heart, soul and mind? are you willing to go and do whatever he calls you to do? are you living in a trusting relationship with Him that he is showing you that you can do more than you can imagine? are you believing God and using his power?
Boldness comes from trusting God's power
GOD IS ABLE!
Do we believe it?
LIVE IT!
when you trust in His power, goodness and character.
you will have boldness and impact.
{embrace the journey}
Sunday, March 22, 2009
pride a cheater
I am doing a bible study by Beth Moore and one day was on pride. I would just like to share a couple quotes and a poem from that day:
"Pride is the opposite of humility."
"Pride is self absorption, whether we're absorbed with how miserable we are or how wonderful we are. Humility is God-focused not self-focused."
Pride wears many masks...
So interesting how pride really is all of the above, just not puffing yourself up. It goes so much deeper.
pray with me today to rid pride from our lives and continue to pray that every moment of the day.
Because once pride gets a hold of you, and convinces you can do things on your own, that is when you fall...and with every fall...its harder to get back up again. . . BUT God can lift you up again and cleanse you inside and out if you reach out and call for Him every moment of the day.
Don't let pride control your world- - - let God take you to the places He desires for you.
{embrace the journey}
"Pride is the opposite of humility."
"Pride is self absorption, whether we're absorbed with how miserable we are or how wonderful we are. Humility is God-focused not self-focused."
Pride wears many masks...
My Name is Pride. I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment...because "you deserve better than this."
I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.
I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love...because the real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you refuse wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you.
Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool out of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...
If you stick with me, you'll never know.
So interesting how pride really is all of the above, just not puffing yourself up. It goes so much deeper.
pray with me today to rid pride from our lives and continue to pray that every moment of the day.
Because once pride gets a hold of you, and convinces you can do things on your own, that is when you fall...and with every fall...its harder to get back up again. . . BUT God can lift you up again and cleanse you inside and out if you reach out and call for Him every moment of the day.
Don't let pride control your world- - - let God take you to the places He desires for you.
{embrace the journey}
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
So, today I was just struggling with a lot of questions and worries and being dissatisfied and being not being fully content filling my mind in over abundance! So I just felt the nudge from my heavenly Daddy saying- read Philippians 4.
I was like uhhh I know what that says kinda so I dont really need to read it. well mistake. haha I kept going on with my day and all the worries and everything piled up more and the more they piled up in my mind the more i heard God saying- read Philippians 4. sooo i finally did.
[Let me just say- always listen to God the first time. don't hesitate when he is telling you to do something- because it is always going to be in your best interest and he knows what you need more than you do.]
Let me just outline some of the Key verses and points here. and this is how God directly speaks through His Word and how His Word is living and active.
Philippians starts out with Paul saying:
"Don't waver. Stay on track, steady in God"
then he goes on...
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice." (verse 4)
I keep reading and in verse 6 and 7 rock my word
"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
I mean God is answering all my concerns on the dot...but it gets better...verses 8 and 9 say
"whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."
I'm like okay God, I hear you...I will start putting these into practice more....so i keep reading.....
Paul says
"for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content."
He has been through sooo much- prison, hunger, even had things in abundance-- but he learned to be content in everything because:
"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." (verse 13)
God gives strength through His Son. I can get through the day because Christ supplies my strength. So I am feeling refreshed relying on these truths i just read, straight from God. AND then he says this:
"And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (verse 19)
whoa!
seriously. God really knows what we need more than we do I believe. I think a lot of times that I need something, but I really don't. God has a future planned out for me...and its perfect. As long as I am putting into practice these things and obeying Him, living for and in Him, He will give a peace beyond my understanding and supply every need that i have. He knows me inside and out and for that I am very thankful. He made me. He knows how I think. He knows how to reach me. and for that I am grateful. And He still loves me. God spoke and answered all my questions, fears, worries, and everything today.
The cool thing is...all this is for you too. God knows everything about you and knows how to work specifically in your life. Pray Philippians 4.
Listen to Him. Read His Living Word. Dwell on His Word. Live for His Glory.
"Be still and know that I AM God." Psalm 46:10
{embrace the journey}
I was like uhhh I know what that says kinda so I dont really need to read it. well mistake. haha I kept going on with my day and all the worries and everything piled up more and the more they piled up in my mind the more i heard God saying- read Philippians 4. sooo i finally did.
[Let me just say- always listen to God the first time. don't hesitate when he is telling you to do something- because it is always going to be in your best interest and he knows what you need more than you do.]
Let me just outline some of the Key verses and points here. and this is how God directly speaks through His Word and how His Word is living and active.
Philippians starts out with Paul saying:
"Don't waver. Stay on track, steady in God"
then he goes on...
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice." (verse 4)
I keep reading and in verse 6 and 7 rock my word
"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
I mean God is answering all my concerns on the dot...but it gets better...verses 8 and 9 say
"whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."
I'm like okay God, I hear you...I will start putting these into practice more....so i keep reading.....
Paul says
"for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content."
He has been through sooo much- prison, hunger, even had things in abundance-- but he learned to be content in everything because:
"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." (verse 13)
God gives strength through His Son. I can get through the day because Christ supplies my strength. So I am feeling refreshed relying on these truths i just read, straight from God. AND then he says this:
"And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (verse 19)
whoa!
seriously. God really knows what we need more than we do I believe. I think a lot of times that I need something, but I really don't. God has a future planned out for me...and its perfect. As long as I am putting into practice these things and obeying Him, living for and in Him, He will give a peace beyond my understanding and supply every need that i have. He knows me inside and out and for that I am very thankful. He made me. He knows how I think. He knows how to reach me. and for that I am grateful. And He still loves me. God spoke and answered all my questions, fears, worries, and everything today.
The cool thing is...all this is for you too. God knows everything about you and knows how to work specifically in your life. Pray Philippians 4.
Listen to Him. Read His Living Word. Dwell on His Word. Live for His Glory.
"Be still and know that I AM God." Psalm 46:10
{embrace the journey}
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
just don't sit there
So, I always have wondered why I have like spurts of ideas and just things to write about and then like dead times where i have such a writers block. I figured it out. I'm not gonna lie- the times that I write, are the times that I am struggling the most. and searching for answers-- Like writing is an outlet for me. Just getting what is on my mind out- almost like if i see it -- I will more likely believe it. I write what is in my head- so maybe it will penetrate really my own heart. Interesting huh? Sometimes you learn new things about yourself everyday lol
I am sitting here, on a Friday night- - - so burdened, listening to love songs with Delilah who soothes me...haha- - - listening to the stories of people who call in on her "sappy love songs" radio show.. so touching. so . . . depressing. haha... nah really this is such a distraction from what is really on my heart.
It seems that we all wear masks a lot. We have a different mask for every person, situation, day, hour. . . do we really know who we are? Do we really believe what we are supposed to?
Yeah- what do you hear all the time? --- you are made in the image of God, find your Identity in Christ, don't place your worth in other people- what people think of you, - you are the daughter of the King. . . I so want to believe these things with all my heart but sometimes it is harder than others.
Of course I know all of this, and i believe it with some of my heart- but when i am struggling at times- it is harder to believe.
So what do you believe? - who are you? are you who you want to be?
What masks are you putting on? what is really going on in your heart?
Are we afraid to find out?
I am finding out more and more that I am afraid of a lot of things. . . that I didn't even realize. Until I deal with all these things I am afraid of- it is going to cloud my mind of the TRUTH of Jesus.
You just can't want something- you just can't want something to happen- you've gotta believe in it. and believe in it with all your heart.
Just like Jesus says- Love the Lord with ALL your heart, with ALL your soul and with ALL your mind.
He wouldn't have said anything that we weren't supposed to believe and do and trust and just ahhh ya know?
It is time to BELIEVE. It is time to ACT. It is time to stop just sitting around and wanting things, it is time to pursue them. believe you can overcome, believe God does truly love you, believe that He really does got you and He ISNT LETTING GO. He will never let you go. He will never let you down. He will never break His promises. It is time to quit knowing and start believing.
a quote i heard the other day was- - - the key to change is to let go of fear.
Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
1 Chronicles 28:20
Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you
Jesus said, "Do not fear, only believe." Mark 5:36
SO....in all that mumble jumble.....BELIEVE. God will never lie to you. He always tells you the truth and it is just foolish not to believe Him. - - in that belief you will find who you are - -
Uncover that mask. search deep inside for all those unanswered fears and questions- bring them before God- trust and believe in Him and then, just rest in His arms. He will not let you go. He will give you a peace that surpasses all understanding.
Make the connection from your Head to your Heart and NEVER let anything break that connection.
uncover.believe & act
{embrace the journey}
I am sitting here, on a Friday night- - - so burdened, listening to love songs with Delilah who soothes me...haha- - - listening to the stories of people who call in on her "sappy love songs" radio show.. so touching. so . . . depressing. haha... nah really this is such a distraction from what is really on my heart.
It seems that we all wear masks a lot. We have a different mask for every person, situation, day, hour. . . do we really know who we are? Do we really believe what we are supposed to?
Yeah- what do you hear all the time? --- you are made in the image of God, find your Identity in Christ, don't place your worth in other people- what people think of you, - you are the daughter of the King. . . I so want to believe these things with all my heart but sometimes it is harder than others.
Of course I know all of this, and i believe it with some of my heart- but when i am struggling at times- it is harder to believe.
So what do you believe? - who are you? are you who you want to be?
What masks are you putting on? what is really going on in your heart?
Are we afraid to find out?
I am finding out more and more that I am afraid of a lot of things. . . that I didn't even realize. Until I deal with all these things I am afraid of- it is going to cloud my mind of the TRUTH of Jesus.
You just can't want something- you just can't want something to happen- you've gotta believe in it. and believe in it with all your heart.
Just like Jesus says- Love the Lord with ALL your heart, with ALL your soul and with ALL your mind.
He wouldn't have said anything that we weren't supposed to believe and do and trust and just ahhh ya know?
It is time to BELIEVE. It is time to ACT. It is time to stop just sitting around and wanting things, it is time to pursue them. believe you can overcome, believe God does truly love you, believe that He really does got you and He ISNT LETTING GO. He will never let you go. He will never let you down. He will never break His promises. It is time to quit knowing and start believing.
a quote i heard the other day was- - - the key to change is to let go of fear.
Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
1 Chronicles 28:20
Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you
Jesus said, "Do not fear, only believe." Mark 5:36
SO....in all that mumble jumble.....BELIEVE. God will never lie to you. He always tells you the truth and it is just foolish not to believe Him. - - in that belief you will find who you are - -
Uncover that mask. search deep inside for all those unanswered fears and questions- bring them before God- trust and believe in Him and then, just rest in His arms. He will not let you go. He will give you a peace that surpasses all understanding.
Make the connection from your Head to your Heart and NEVER let anything break that connection.
uncover.believe & act
{embrace the journey}
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Suddenly
[suddenly] [by:superchick]
She feels lost in her own life
Treading water just to keep from slipping under
And she wonders if she's where she's supposed to be
Tired of trying to do it right
Her dreams are just to far away to see how steps she's making
Might be taking her to who she'll be
Chorus:
And suddenly it isn't what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly I am where I'm supposed to be
And after all the tears I was supposed to be here
She feels locked in her own life
Scared of what she might lose if she moves away from who she was
And she's afraid of being free
There's a way she knows is right
She can't feel the things she knows
And so each step she's taking is a step of faith toward who she'll be
And here where the night is darkest black
She feels the fear and the light is farthest back
And through her tears she can't see the dawn is coming
Skies will clear and the light will find her where she's always been
Have you ever been there?
i am just being reminded each and everyday that God is molding us into the person he has made us to be. you may not see it now, but when you look back you will see how God has worked wonders in your life to use you in specific ways. God has you where He wants you. You know, just go along with Him and you know what? He will take you where you need to go- and one day the skies will clear and you will see where you are and the journey that got you there. clarity will come- it just may take many uncertain days, tearful moments, unsuccessful tries, falling and getting back up, dark cloudy days, foggy times, bright sunny days, fun times, good times, lovely times, heart aches, heart leaps, trapped feelings, vulnerable moments, crazy u-turns and back again, treading waters only to be rescued from it all-- however all to experience this amazing journey just to enter a life of who God has called you to be. It wouldn't be a journey without all of it.
suddenly it will all make sense.
suddenly the dawn will come.
suddenly the journey will feel worthwhile.
suddenly clarity will be revealed.
suddenly the journey will make sense.
suddenly you will know the person you are meant to be.
suddenly God take you where you never imagined you would go.
that suddenly will come. . .just embrace the journey. wait on the Lord. follow His Words. obey Him simply. love Him completely. and when you do that suddenly will arrive and God will start making it clear to you why He worked the way He did for His glory in your life.
- - - rely on Him. trust in Him. and when the storms come and the winds blow - - - remember- - - He's got ya.
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
{embrace the journey}
Sunday, February 8, 2009
okay..soo in TRBC youth group they started a new series on FEAR. now there are some pretty wack fears out there...here are some to name a few:
fear of...
Chins- Geniophobia
Laughter- Geliophobia
Looking up- Anablephobia
Names- Nomatophobia
Peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth- Arachibutyrophobia
Shadows- Sciophobia
Long words- Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
Then while i was looking at the lonnng list of phobias i found some that kinda fit me
fear of...
Being alone- Autophobia (i hate being alone. i do not like going places by myself, also i desire that lifetime companion and i do not want to be alone--my dad left my family and i never want that to happen to me)
Corpses- Necrophobia (i cannot look at dead people.)
Crossing streets- Agyrophobia or Dromophobia (I HATE CROSSING STREETS!!!)
Falling or being in love- Philophobia (ive been hurt so many times by people that i have put my whole heart into and i'm afraid that once i find that true love i will only be set up for another heartbreak...but then again love without risks is not love at all. you've gotta take a chance- - -however i saw my mom get hurt so much in her marriage and i never want that to happen to me)
Rape- Virginitiphobia (i am so afraid of this)
but probably my number one fear is ...the fear of the future.
but is what God says...
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Jeremiah 29:11
that is a PROMISE! and i am SO thankful of that.
God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,"
That is the first part of Hebrews 13:5...okay that's a promise...soak it in...amazing...now read the second part of the verse...
we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?
"I'm fearLESS, NO MATTER WHAT"!! wow ... no one can get me, nothing can touch me. God is always going to be there, all i have to do is lay everything at his feet. and trust in Him that he is going to work everything out for His glory and for His purpose alone. .. yeah I am going to cross streets again, but i do not have to let that fear take over my life. no fear should take over your life.
I do have to admit the fear of the future has taken my life from me at moments and i am learning every moment of every day to trust in Him.
READ Joseph's story in the Bible. talk about a wild, horrible, trial filled, whoa kind of life ... but God worked His glory through it and every circumstance shaped Joseph into the person that God created him to be.
i mean throughout his whole life he went through trial after trial and he kept faithful to the lord. i mean he had to of thought like why the heck am i goin through this...and then later he saw how God worked through a circumstance to build him to the person he became and good came out of everything he did== God's glory was shown through him despite of events his life. looking back on his life he saw how God worked through each heartache and pain to. he prob didnt understand at the moment, but in the end everything was for a purpose.
his story is encouraging me so much right now. bc right now i dont understand somethings or i dont know what i will be doing next-im fearful of that, but i know it is all in God's plan and He is working through every circumstance to build my character and my failures and victories to shape me into who He has created me to be. He is working everything for his glory.
So all i need to do is lay my fears at His feet, and He will take care of them.
The only fear we need to have in this life is the Fear of the Lord.
"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;all those who practice it have a good understanding.
Psalm 111:10
(btw, psalms and proverbs is full of verses concerning the fear of the Lord)
Who doesn't want wisdom and understanding? everyone! ... and the Fear of the Lord is the only way to gain it.
Easier said than done...huh?
but that is the encouragement and challenge of life. - to lay our fears to the Lord- let Him take them from us so we can experience His peace-
Even though I am coming to a cross roads of graduating soon and not know what is going to happen next, what i will be doing or where i will be, ive gotta trust the Lord that he is taking care of me and is working HIS plan in my life. . .
Place your fears in the hands of our Heavenly Father. He keeps His promises. You can trust Him. He's got ya :)
{embrace the journey}
fear of...
Chins- Geniophobia
Laughter- Geliophobia
Looking up- Anablephobia
Names- Nomatophobia
Peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth- Arachibutyrophobia
Shadows- Sciophobia
Long words- Hippopotomonstrosesquipped
Then while i was looking at the lonnng list of phobias i found some that kinda fit me
fear of...
Being alone- Autophobia (i hate being alone. i do not like going places by myself, also i desire that lifetime companion and i do not want to be alone--my dad left my family and i never want that to happen to me)
Corpses- Necrophobia (i cannot look at dead people.)
Crossing streets- Agyrophobia or Dromophobia (I HATE CROSSING STREETS!!!)
Falling or being in love- Philophobia (ive been hurt so many times by people that i have put my whole heart into and i'm afraid that once i find that true love i will only be set up for another heartbreak...but then again love without risks is not love at all. you've gotta take a chance- - -however i saw my mom get hurt so much in her marriage and i never want that to happen to me)
Rape- Virginitiphobia (i am so afraid of this)
but probably my number one fear is ...the fear of the future.
but is what God says...
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Jeremiah 29:11
that is a PROMISE! and i am SO thankful of that.
God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,"
That is the first part of Hebrews 13:5...okay that's a promise...soak it in...amazing...now read the second part of the verse...
we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?
"I'm fearLESS, NO MATTER WHAT"!! wow ... no one can get me, nothing can touch me. God is always going to be there, all i have to do is lay everything at his feet. and trust in Him that he is going to work everything out for His glory and for His purpose alone. .. yeah I am going to cross streets again, but i do not have to let that fear take over my life. no fear should take over your life.
I do have to admit the fear of the future has taken my life from me at moments and i am learning every moment of every day to trust in Him.
READ Joseph's story in the Bible. talk about a wild, horrible, trial filled, whoa kind of life ... but God worked His glory through it and every circumstance shaped Joseph into the person that God created him to be.
i mean throughout his whole life he went through trial after trial and he kept faithful to the lord. i mean he had to of thought like why the heck am i goin through this...and then later he saw how God worked through a circumstance to build him to the person he became and good came out of everything he did== God's glory was shown through him despite of events his life. looking back on his life he saw how God worked through each heartache and pain to. he prob didnt understand at the moment, but in the end everything was for a purpose.
his story is encouraging me so much right now. bc right now i dont understand somethings or i dont know what i will be doing next-im fearful of that, but i know it is all in God's plan and He is working through every circumstance to build my character and my failures and victories to shape me into who He has created me to be. He is working everything for his glory.
So all i need to do is lay my fears at His feet, and He will take care of them.
The only fear we need to have in this life is the Fear of the Lord.
"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;all those who practice it have a good understanding.
Psalm 111:10
(btw, psalms and proverbs is full of verses concerning the fear of the Lord)
Who doesn't want wisdom and understanding? everyone! ... and the Fear of the Lord is the only way to gain it.
Easier said than done...huh?
but that is the encouragement and challenge of life. - to lay our fears to the Lord- let Him take them from us so we can experience His peace-
Even though I am coming to a cross roads of graduating soon and not know what is going to happen next, what i will be doing or where i will be, ive gotta trust the Lord that he is taking care of me and is working HIS plan in my life. . .
Place your fears in the hands of our Heavenly Father. He keeps His promises. You can trust Him. He's got ya :)
{embrace the journey}
Sunday, January 25, 2009
run TO not FROM
Today I felt like giving up. Giving up on trying so hard. Giving up on just trying to be perfect in my own eyes. Because it never seems to work out. I never seem to get it right. I just want to run away and get away from all my stresses of life. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the life that God has given me and I enjoy the people in it thoroughly, it is just when the personal problems of life get to be too much and I see more failure than victory, I just want to run away. I wonder if I will ever get it right, if I will ever learn from my past, if I will ever learn from what I read and hear on a consistent basis. Oh how will I ever love again? How will I ever share love or show love in the way I need to? How come I am overcome and ran by my emotions that just are like waves in the ocean- and not constant like a tree firmly rooted in the Word of God? How come I know the right things to do, yet I do not do them? How come I do some things yet not others? How come I want to give up and throw in the towel, but yet I really desire to serve the Lord with all my heart, soul and mind? I just do not understand myself, so I want to run away. Funny how God knows every thought that I think. I mean, I opened my email for my devotion of the day and this is what it said:
Want to Run Away?
Read Psalm 11:1-7
Have you ever felt like running away? "In the Lord I put my trust; how can you say to my soul, 'Flee as a bird to your mountain'?" (v. 1). All of us have days when we feel like quitting. We throw up our hands and say, "That's it. I've had it, and I'm leaving."
At times we do need to get away to rest and regain our perspective. Our Lord Jesus said to His disciples, "Let's just depart and rest a while." Vance Havner once remarked, "If you don't come apart and rest, you'll just come apart." But the psalmist was not talking about a vacation. "The wicked bend their bow" (v. 2). He was saying, "The wicked are doing this and that. Let's get out of here and go to some mountaintop and have a good Bible conference."
When you feel like running or flying away, remember, God's throne is secure. The Lord is in His holy temple. In a difficult time Isaiah looked up and saw the Lord on His throne, high and lifted up. In the Book of Revelation, John saw the Lord on His throne, and it gave him new courage.
Don't flee to a mountain; flee to the throne of grace. When you feel like quitting or running away, remember that you can't run away from your troubles and you can't run away from yourself. The solution is not running away; it's running to. It's running to the throne of grace and finding grace to help in time of need.
Those times when you feel like quitting can be times of great opportunity, for God uses your troubles to help you grow. When you feel like running away, claim your privilege as a child of God and approach the throne of grace. There you will find the personal and tailored help you need.
WOW. Huh? "if you don't come apart and rest, you'll just come apart" wow. So true. So my prayer today is that I will run TO instead of running FROM.
Nothing will ever get resolved on my own- only with God I can do all things because He has conquered and overcome all things.
There is hope and there is victory and there is beauty just ahead . . . all I have to do is keep my eyes on the goal and keep moving forward.
{embrace the journey}
Saturday, January 10, 2009
get in the boat
I am currently reading the book "The Grand Weaver" by Ravi Zacharias. It is about how God shapes us through the events of our lives. It is a very interesting and great read! At one point in the book he is talking about faith-trust and how God is in control. And he had this thought: (that i am going to sum up in my own words)
You know how God told Noah to build the ark right? This is how God told Noah to build it (taken from Genesis 6:14-16)
So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high. Make a roof for it and finish the ark to within 18 inches of the top. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks.
Do you see how specific the plans were for the ark? very.
But what is missing that most boats have? . . . a rudder or a sail.
God did not tell Noah to put a rudder/sail/steering wheel because God did not want Noah guiding or directing the ark. He wanted Noah to obey Him, trust Him and just get in the boat. This shows how God is in control and how He guides and knows the direction of where Noah was supposed to go. And at the right time, God's time, they reached their destination.
You can bring this to your life today. Just get in the boat.
Trust God with your life, He knows what is ahead, He knows the waters will rise and fall in your life- just have faith in Him that He will bring you safely to shore when He is ready to. Just let God be in control of your life and guide you in everything you do.
Don't be afraid to get in the boat- God has complete control.
You know how God told Noah to build the ark right? This is how God told Noah to build it (taken from Genesis 6:14-16)
So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high. Make a roof for it and finish the ark to within 18 inches of the top. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks.
Do you see how specific the plans were for the ark? very.
But what is missing that most boats have? . . . a rudder or a sail.
God did not tell Noah to put a rudder/sail/steering wheel because God did not want Noah guiding or directing the ark. He wanted Noah to obey Him, trust Him and just get in the boat. This shows how God is in control and how He guides and knows the direction of where Noah was supposed to go. And at the right time, God's time, they reached their destination.
You can bring this to your life today. Just get in the boat.
Trust God with your life, He knows what is ahead, He knows the waters will rise and fall in your life- just have faith in Him that He will bring you safely to shore when He is ready to. Just let God be in control of your life and guide you in everything you do.
Don't be afraid to get in the boat- God has complete control.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
2009
Thoughts/resolutions/solutions/rambles about 2009
I am very excited to be entering 2009- the last of the "0s" of over two thousand years of existence. That makes me wonder what year 3000 will be like, but who knows. Anyways- here's to two thousand and nine. . .
The usuals
- Getting in shape, getting "that" body by spring break and swim suit season
- Eat less to gain more
- Read more interesting thought provoking books
- Enhance my mind with knowledge and not junk
- Pray more
- Be a better friend
- Befriend more
- Impact the world
- Change the world
- Love the world
- Display selfless love
Personal
- All of the above
- Find a job/like the job/actually just find some source of income
- Disciple at least 10 people
- Trust God more
- Be satisfied with who I am in Christ
- Love unconditionally
- Let that man fall in love with me
- Strive for excellence
- Keep in touch with my friends
- Make new relationships
- Be bolder about the Word of God and who Jesus is and what He means to me
- Gain a solid foundation of my beliefs
- Be involved with a youth group
- LEARN- even though I will not be in a classroom
- Mentor and be mentored
- Can I think of anything else??
- Read through the Bible in a year
- Make plans and stick with them
- Commit and be determined
- Save money for a car and travel
- Not to break any of these
Goals. We think of them and set them up just like that at the beginning of the year. How many of us keep them? It is January 6, 2009 and I bet they have already been broken in many cases. Why is it so hard? Why cant we keep something that we say? Why do we have to always instantly gratify our own desires? Why cant we think more about others needs? Why cant we go against the norm…swim upstream…be different? Why do we have to blend in? Why do we always have to be the neutral crayon in the box, and not the brightest one? Why are we so afraid of ourselves, the unknown? Why are there always so many questions but no one ever seems to have the answers? Is that what you call a rhetorical question? Why do these questions have to be rhetorical? Can you answer them?
My power quotes of 2009
- "To allow God to be God we must follow Him for who He is and what He intends, and not for what we want or what we prefer" Ravi Zacharias
- "It is not what we do that determines who we are. It is who we are that determines what we do." Neil T Anderson
- "In pursuing a life that is not about yourself, you find yourself living the life you've always longed for" Erwin McManus
- On whose strength you draw, the Lord's or your own, will determine victory or defeat. If you let Him lead, He will take you to victory
- "Our quest is to have God's character formed in us, so that His passions burn in us." Erwin McManus.
Verses to live by:
- People with their minds set on You, You keep completely whole, Steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don't quit. Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing. Isaiah 26:3-4
- Look to the Lord and His strength, seek His face always. Psalm 105:4
- …but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
1 Peter 3:4 - God's Way is not a matter of mere talk; it's an empowered life. 1 Corinthians 4:20
- If you love Me, you will obey Me. John 14:15
I am sure more will be added to the lists, but that is what I have come up with right now. This day. This moment.
To end- this is the most important of all - - - not to forget God and who He is. Live each moment remembering who you are in Christ, what Christ did for you, how much He loves you and make choices and decisions accordingly to live the life God has created you to live.
{embrace the journey}
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)