Wednesday night was amazing. never have i experienced being so close to the Lord. however- it is Friday now- and have i already forgotten that moment? in some ways yes, because I am still holding on- and even today, convocation- am i listening to the voice of God in every situation with Him? this is the battle that is going on within me. the sruggle of the flesh and spirit. I am told to guard myself with the armor of God- but how am i supposed to hold that sword of the spirit that will slay the devil if i am holding onto something else oh so tightly.
its like Moses in Exodus 4. . . he was holding a staff (representing his life- what he has always known- his power- everything)and God said throw it down- and then God used Moses to work a miracle. and God used Moses from then on to do much more than moses ever thought he could do.
my staff- God is saying "throw it down- and let me work a miracle, but I can not work that miracle until you fully let it go and not come running back for it."
I have let go like letting go of a yoyo. you let go and it comes back up. i have done that so much. let it go, and then let it come back. i have to detach the string from my finger in order to completely let go.
the thing is, what will it take for me to get it. i hope in this moment i will get it. but i know the things of tomorrow will come at me even harder- happens every time. once it gets to hard- i yank it back up.
i pray and hope that today, in this moment, in this stillness, i will throw down my staff and watch God work in my life.
completely. throwing everything down.
here is a song that has spoken to my heart:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa8w7mGug0c&feature=related
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